Anxiety and Panic Attacks

Hello everyone,

Todays post is going to be about anxiety and panic attacks which is something that is effecting me more and more in my adult life. I am twenty (twenty-one in a few months) and I have found myself struggling with anxiety more than ever before.

As a child I was always shy and reserved when it came to new people. I never liked crowds because I was always scared of getting lost or losing my friends or a member of my family but other than that I never had any problems. As a young teenager I was again shy meeting new people and found it difficult to make new friends just because I was scared that they would think I was weird.

I have always had a very vivid imagination. I used to sit in the garden in a beach tent making up story after story. I would walk around with a cat collar tied to a shoe lace pretending it was my imaginary dog. I would always play 'let pretend' games and even now I lay in bed putting myself in hundreds of different scenarios. My mind can wonder for hours on end. I feel like this is why I have anxiety.

I seem to worry or ask questions in my head at ten to the dozen in different situations. I could just be waiting for the bus but in my head its 'What if I've missed it?' 'What if it doesn't come?' 'Do I have enough money?' 'What if there aren't any seats left?' and I seem to psych myself up.
A few weeks back both my Mum and I went for a day shopping in Birmingham for the day, we left around 8am, got the train had coffee and went shopping and it was a great day. Then all of sudden everything went downhill. We were getting the train at rush hour and I started freaking out. The crowds of people starting getting bigger and bigger and my hearing started going weird and I felt like I couldn't breath.
There was a little girl stood next to me crying and it was making me feel sick. The train pulled up and the doors opened and suddenly everyone was pushing each other to get onto the train. Someone shoved more backwards and pushed my Mum onto the train. I was already panicking but because I couldn't see her I started freaking out. I felt like I was suffocating and wanted to get some fresh air but someone kindly let me on the train and I found my Mum.

All I really wanted was to get off and get some fresh air but the train started moving and I was more panicky than ever. I wanted to cry because I felt so strange but I managed to try and calm down a bit. But for hours after I felt like I couldn't breathe and I kept replaying the whole situation in my head.

When I talk about anxiety to a lot of people they just roll their eyes or tell me to go to the doctors mainly because they don't understand it so I keep it to myself.
I would love to hear about your anxiety experiences and how you over come the panicky feelings. How you try and keep your anxiety at a low level.

Please leave a comment about things you do to help your anxiety or it may even be a friend or member of family! Thank you for reading.

Speak to you soon,

Paige xx